How to repair a relationship after an affair

4 Ways to Repair Your Relationship After Cheating (According to Experts) - One Love Foundation

how to repair a relationship after an affair

Think the damage has been done? Staying together after an affair is possible. Is it possible to mend a relationship after cheating yes! I am a proof it I recently found out my husband has been having affairs with other men. Can a relationship thrive again after something as trust-altering as infidelity? We spoke to an expert about dealing with the aftermath of an affair.

Could counseling even help? April 20, at Repeated cheating and refusing to take responsibility for unhealthy behavior can be a red flag for emotional abuse, so I would encourage you to check out our page on that here. April 21, at 3: The first i was mean and jealous but i changed,she gave me a chance to. Well,a few weeks ago i was at work and i get a phone call,its my wife and i say hello,hello and nothing but as im about to hang up,i hear talking, to who though,i stay on the line and listen and listen for about 30mns.

All the way home until i pulled up,still standing at the door she is saying ,i need 24hrs to cancely coumseling session for depression ,so u have to give me time and besides hes forcing me to go his families for easter this Sunday. I was and am devasted,i confronted her and of course it was nothing she said but after a few minutes, she admitted to have been seeing him for a few months.

So please tell me why i should give her another chance or forgive her,please?? April 23, at 4: Choosing whether to give the relationship another chance is something that only you can decide, and this article is certainly not meant to suggest that you have to do that. If you are receiving pressure to stay in the relationship or have other concerns that you would like to talk about, we would definitely be happy to speak with you about that.

April 23, at I am a female but I am not bisexual I am heterosexual. We both happened to be under the influence but her husband was not. I did not have sex with her husband. It was something that I would never do if I was sober. I did not plan this cheating. I love my boyfriend and is happy with him.

Is there anything you can help me with. April 23, at 5: It sounds like a tough situation and one that might be best addressed by talking with you directly. Relationships are necessary aspects of life. They make us human. No man or woman out there can claim wholesomeness without the support, strength and love of another human being.

Sometimes, friends and family suffice; other times, the answer lies with only a husband or wife-or a boyfriend or girlfriend. So what happens when the person who gives you a shoulder to lean on suddenly fails you?

how to repair a relationship after an affair

When that person decides your attention and care is unsatisfactory? It leaves you wondering what to do when he pulls away. But other times, that ending is a new beginning; an opportunity to learn from the past and right what was once wrong; a path to explore other avenues that were once untouched.

Building Trust After Cheating

That much I can promise you. We all have expectations and most often than not, those expectations are a far cry from the reality.

The best way to deal with this is to constantly remind ourselves our expectations-until met-are merely fictional; but life is as real as they come. We all go into a relationship with lofty expectations of what we want from it-from our partner, but we are soon disappointed by what we are met with. Yes, a few of us may have their expectations met, but most of us wont. Maybe he or she expected the exact opposite of what he or she is getting from being in a relationship with you?

There is no law out there that mandates us to be perfect representations of what our partners want from us; what they see in us; what they expect from us. Love and attention may not be reciprocated in the same way you give it because your partner is not the same as you. A successful relationship does not entail what one spouse wants. That is not possible. Just like any other aspect of life, relationships are susceptible to problems.

That is simple fact. They come with the good and the bad, and you simply have to learn to live with the latter, making compromises where necessary. The question is, are you willing to get it fixed?

how to repair a relationship after an affair

It matters little who is to blame though, because if neither of you are willing to reconcile and take the next step in making things work again, then your problem will forever be an unresolved one. My words can only guide you.

Building Trust After Cheating |

In the end, everything lies with you and your partner. I will simply provide you with the plan on how to go on about it.

Lend me your ear. It is broken now, and it will need the two of you to breathe life into it again. One partner may be at fault, but both partners suffer the consequences, and both partners are needed to make things right again and restore the broken trust.

How To Rebuild Trust After An Affair (And Get Forgiveness)

It will not be easy to survive infidelity, that much should be obvious. And it will take a lot of dedication, patience, commitment and perseverance. You might think yourself ready, expecting the worst; but what you meet might prove you woefully wrong. The challenges you will face are many, and will probably be more debilitating than you can imagine.

How you tackle these challenges go hand-in-hand with your ability to handle yourself, because overcoming these unexpected challenges is something that can only be done by you. As with all challenges, particular steps need to be taken to fix the ones stemming from a broken relationship.

These steps are simple, yet difficult to execute. But as I said, not impossible: It Begins with You Uncovering your partner is cheating on you opens a floodgate to so many emotions.

You feel anger, confusion, sorrow, loathing, fear, worry, shock; many more that serve no essential purpose but to further break you.

How to Rebuild a Relationship After Cheating: Expectations vs. Reality • Infidelity Healing

You feel betrayed; self-doubt and fear leave you unsure of the next step to take; anger clouds your mind and erodes your judgment capabilities; pain renders you unable to do almost anything.

And the worst part of all this? These emotions are recurrent. They will plague you nonstop until you get a hold of yourself. They will leave you a shell of your former self. The way you normally think and react to situations will cease to be-you will cease to be, and in your place will be a stranger who is nothing like you. Someone who behaves and talks nothing like you do. All this is perfectly normal.

how to repair a relationship after an affair

There is a cure though, and that cure is you. Reach out to yourself. No one will accuse you of being too distrusting of people afterwards, because the trauma you went through necessitated it. But opening yourself to these emotions is not an end, rather a means to better yourself.

Embrace these emotions, but never let them consume you. Never let them grow so strong they have a permanent hold on you. Let the tears flow, but the time will come where you have to stop crying. Wipe your tears away and breathe easy. Once you free yourself from anger and pain, strive not to get caught by them again. These emotions will try to break you again and again, but deny them.

Remain steadfast and look towards the next phase of dealing with this compounding problem.

how to repair a relationship after an affair

And this goes for both you and your partner. You may be the one who was hurt but your cheating spouse might also be overwhelmed by feelings and emotions: So take care of yourself. Learn to control your emotions and keep them in check lest your thoughts perpetually remain irrational and illogical.

That trust, once broken, cannot be mended. If this is true, then it means people are forever unforgiving. Do you believe that? They advise against making decisions when in the wrong mental state, because such decisions are almost always hasty, even if they feel right to you. So calm yourself, and then make a decision. There are always four options and the one you choose will determine the next step to take: You both decide it cannot be saved. This is the one you should do everything in your power to avoid.

This option is even less likely to succeed than the one above, because the human psyche will not permit it to. Jealousy, guilt, anger and depression are just a few reasons why. Intimacy plays a big part in this but ultimately, it comes down to how a new channel has been opened for both of you to explore what went wrong and discover new ways of strengthening the rebirth of your relationship and ultimately rebuild trust.

So the decision is yours to make.

7 Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship After Infidelity

Whatever option you decide to pick goes a long way in determining how you want your future to be shaped. If you choose option four as I hope you will, then the next step is where the real work and rebuilding process begins. You CAN get past this! Infidelity hurts everyone, and you are not alone!