Anxiety can destroy relationships, control it, i regret the fact that i I have no eating disorder or substance abuse problems but the other stuff. When a relationship causes anxiety, we are groomed to believe our anxiety is the under control lest we ruin our relationship, adding pressure to the anxiety we But what if anxiety wasn't the problem at all, and it was trying to tell us something ? .. we live together but sometimes thinking about him gives me panic attacks. Here are 7 problems anxiety causes in a relationship and how to avoid them: 1. Being overly However, there is a difference when you suffer from an anxiety disorder. You begin to spin out of control thinking about your mate cheating.
There are toxic work environments, coworkers, friendships, parents, as well as toxic intimate relationships.
Is Your Relationship Making You Sick?
Two interesting facts about people in these negative relationships is that, 1. They do not seem to know they are in a toxic relationship even though they feel depressed, and, 2. They are bad for both medical and mental health. The answer is that they tend to have low self esteem and to blame themselves for all of their problems.
Although no relationship is perfect and disagreement and arguments occur in the best of relationships, it is important to recognize the difference between what is toxic compared to what is not.How To Deal With Anxiety and Trust Issues
Here are some characteristics of toxic relationships: When you are together you experience feeling tired and unfulfilled. The relationship causes you to feel bad about yourself, both before, during and after being together. You feel threatened rather than safe when you are with this person or in this environment. You feel as if you are the one who is always giving while your partner gives little or nothing.
There is lots of drama, conflict and anxiety in the relationship. Your partner is never happy, appreciative and pleased with who you are.
It feels to you as though you must change to make your partner happy. None of this is healthy, uplifting, satisfying or pleasant.
Instead, this type of thing reinforces the worst kinds of self feeling that are possible. How can being the target of constant criticism and verbal abuse possibly help anyone feel good about themselves? This can only result in feelings of frustration, inadequacy, self hate and depression. The health hazards can be serious: Of course, there are many other causes for medical health problems.
The fact that a person has a heart attack does not mean that their marriage was the cause. We may feel possessive or controlling toward our partner in response. Conversely, some of us will feel easily intruded on in our relationships. We may retreat from our partners, detach from our feelings of desire.
We may act out by being aloof, distant or guarded. These patterns of relating can come from our early attachment styles. Our attachment pattern is established in our childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. It influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. Different attachment styles can lead us to experience different levels of relationship anxiety. You can learn more about what your attachment style is and how it impacts your romantic relationships here.
What Thoughts Perpetuate Relationship Anxiety? The specific critical inner voices we have about ourselves, our partner and relationships are formed out of early attitudes we were exposed to in our family or in society at large. Sexual stereotypes as well as attitudes that our influential caretakers had toward themselves and others can infiltrate our point of view and shade our current perceptions.
Critical Inner Voices about the Relationship People just wind up getting hurt. Relationships never work out. Men are so insensitive, unreliable, selfish. Women are so fragile, needy, indirect.
How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety - PsychAlive
He only cares about being with his friends. Why get so excited? She is too good for you. As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you. As we shed light into our past, we quickly realize there are many early influences that have shaped our attachment pattern, our psychological defenses and our critical inner voice.
All of these factors contribute to our relationship anxiety and can lead us to sabotage our love lives in many ways. Listening to our inner critic and giving in to this anxiety can result in the following actions: Cling — When we feel anxious, our tendency may be to act desperate toward our partner.
We may stop feeling like the independent, strong people we were when we entered the relationship. As a result, we may find ourselves falling apart easily, acting jealous or insecure or no longer engaging in independent activities. Control — When we feel threatened, we may attempt to dominate or control our partner.
This behavior can alienate our partner and breed resentment.
Reject — If we feel worried about our relationship, one defense we may turn to is aloofness. We may become cold or rejecting to protect ourselves or to beat our partner to the punch. These actions can be subtle or overt, yet it is almost always a sure way to force distance or to stir up insecurity in our partner. Withhold — Sometimes, as opposed to explicit rejection, we tend to withhold from our partner when we feel anxious or afraid. Perhaps things have gotten close, and we feel stirred up, so we retreat.
We hold back little affections or give up on some aspect of our relationship altogether. Withholding may seem like a passive act, but it is one of the quietest killers of passion and attraction in a relationship. Punish — Sometimes, our response to our anxiety is more aggressive, and we actually punish, taking our feelings out on our partner. We may yell and scream or give our partner the cold shoulder.
In this state of fantasy, we focus on form over substance. We may stay in the relationship to feel secure but give up on the vital parts of relating.
In a fantasy bond, we often engage in many of the destructive behaviors mentioned above as a means to create distance and defend ourselves against the anxiety that naturally comes with feeling free and in love.